Another school year is here and you’re back on campus (or on campus for the first time)! New classes, new roommates; a new crush perhaps?!? For those of you who are single, and possibly new to dating in college, safety is a big concern. It has been documented that the number of sexual assault cases on college campuses is on the rise. Dating should be fun, but it’s important to be safe too.
10 tips to help you remain safe while dating on campus
1. Get as much info as possible from your crush before your date
Check out your crush’s social media pages. You probably already know a bit about him or her if you’ve agreed to go out with them, but it wouldn’t hurt to check them out online before your date. Do they seem to be who they said they are? Does it look like they are single or is there a mystery guy or girl in most of their photos? If a mutual friend set the two of you up, get info about your crush from your friend. Have a text or phone conversation with your crush before your date as a pre-date info session to lessen your nervousness, build excitement, and learn more about your crush before going out. The more info you have, the safer your date will be!
2. Tell someone who you’re going out with & where you’re going on your date
Since you’re probably excited about your big date with your crush, you’ve probably already told your friends, neighbors, classmates, and anyone else that can hear you shouting it from the rooftop of your dorm! If you have told no one yet, it might not be a bad idea to tell at least one other person. Just to be safe, think about telling a friend/roommate where you are going, who you are going out with and when you’ll be out on a date with your crush. In case of emergency, even if it’s something as innocent as you getting lost on your way to the date, at least someone will have an idea where you were headed and who you were planning to be out with.
3. Meet in a public place on early dates
See your football or basketball team play. Go to your campus coffee shop together. Maybe there’s a play or concert on campus. Plan a library study date. Whether it’s a daytime or nighttime date, safety is key here. While you’re still getting to know your crush, going to a public restaurant or event is a smart move. People are usually on their best behavior when in public. You’ll be around others, which is much safer than a secluded place. Try not to share your dorm room/apartment number too early while you and your crush are still getting to know each other. Even if it’s because you don’t want him or her to pop by unannounced, do what you can to be protective of your private living space.
4. Be sure to bring cash!
Even if you’re planning on your crush paying for the date, anything can happen. What if your crush forgets his or her wallet? What if you would pay for your own fair share with a credit card, but your crush takes you to a hipster pizza place that only takes cash? What if you end up needing to take a taxi home because things didn’t go as planned? You just want to make sure that you are prepared for whatever may happen and having cash can help you out of a potentially uncomfortable situation.
5. Avoid sending mixed messages
It’s important to be aware about the verbal and non-verbal messages you’re sending to the people you go out with. If while on the date, you’re discovering that you’re not that interested in your crush, it’s important to make sure you’re not overly flirty or saying things that lead him or her to believe that you see a future for the two of you. Just keep things friendly, respectful, and casual in the beginning and do your best to say what you mean and mean what you say in both words and actions.
6. Don’t overdo the alcohol (students who are over 21)
It’s super important to be as alert as possible when going out with someone new. Yes, your crush seems like a nice person, but you are still getting to know him or her. You are still figuring out their intentions as far as you are concerned. If you’re 21, drink responsibly so you can still make smart decisions and take care of yourself. If your date gets too touchy-feely with you or does something that makes you feel uncomfortable, you want to be clear-headed enough to set him or her straight and get out of a potentially awkward or scary situation.
7. If You Get Intimate, Be Safe!
You’re an adult. You’re on a date with someone you think is super hot! It’s normal to feel all hot and bothered, but if you find yourself in a situation where you are getting intimate with your crush, it’s important to be safe and have protection when you get cozy with someone new. Have a conversation about your boundaries. The clearer you are about what is and isn’t okay for you, the less room there is for confusion and uncomfortable scenarios for both you and your crush.
8. Be okay saying NO!
Even if the date is going well, there might be a moment where your crush might test your verbal or physical boundaries. It’s important to remember that even though you may have been okay with the pace at which the date was progressing at first, you are entitled to change your mind about how far and how fast things may be moving. Sending clear messages to your crush with will lessen the potential for uncomfortable scenarios where you will feel inclined to forcefully say NO.
9. Avoid sexting and graphic social media messages
Remember that any photos and messages that you send on your phone or online are never really totally deleted. Sending a flirty image can be fun, but remember you are still getting to know your crush. While it’s important not to go through life jaded and suspicious, it’s also crucial to protect yourself and your image in case things don’t go as planned or if you suddenly discover that your date has a crazy vengeful temper and gets pleasure out of revealing personal info or images on various social media platforms for example. Think twice about sending that flirty text or photo.
10. Leave something to the imagination!
Don’t give everything away conversationally and physically on early dates. Besides it not being safe for your date to know every single thing about you, your date will also be excited about seeing you again if you leave him or her wanting more. A little mystery goes a long way.
These are just a few tips to help you to be as safe as possible when dating on campus. If you ever feel you are being put in a dating scenario that feels unsafe, do what you can to get out of the unsafe situation immediately! The safer and more prepared you are, the more fun you’ll be able to have with less stress.
Happy safe dating college singles!
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