The dating world is a strange place. And that is just in your own personal dating arena. I’m sure you have plenty of crazy stories to share with your friends. But I doubt any of them will compare to the weird and interesting modern and ancient crazy courtship rituals I scoured from around the interweb. So here are…

14 Weird Dating Practices From Around The World:

1. CHINA – In something right out of an M. Night Shyamalan movie, the Dai people from rural areas of southwest China have a “Village-esque” courting ritual. The women sit around a bonfire at night wearing big billowy skirts and quietly turn spinning wheels. The men, draped in big red (and for my purposes), creepy blankets, circle the women slowly. They sing or play instruments to serenade the ladies. If a woman likes the fella, she produces a little stool she has hidden under her skirt and invites him to sit. He then wraps his blanket around her and eats her face off. No, just kidding. They quietly talk and whisper sweet nothings.

2. NORWAY/FINLAND – In what could be a Game of Thrones homage, in Norway/Finland, when a girl became ready for marriage, her father let all the fellas know that she was ripe for picking by placing an empty sheath on her belt. When a man came along and decided he liked what he saw, he would place a knife in her sheath and now she was a taken woman. This system seems to work well to this day, especially if you replace the words knife and sheath with pee pee and hoo ha.

3. TAIWAN – The Taiwanese aboriginal tribe, the Atayal were accomplished headhunters. The more boiled, dried heads you had,the hotter you apparently were. Back in those heady days (see what I did there), these nasty trophies were a display of honor and let the ladies know you were in control of your stuff. So, if you had enough heads, you could get a lot of….. Oh, nevermind.

weird dating practices

4. WALES – Spooning time! It started around the 17th century, when, apparently, soup was incredibly sexy. Couples would demonstrate their attraction for one another by carving incredibly intricate “love spoons.” Originally it was for men to show their creative talent and prowess through unfettered romantic whittling. To this day, lovers still exchange spoons to show their interest. Or to ask for a spanking.

5. AMISH – One does not usually attach romance with the Amish. And so we will also not attach it here. The Amish are incredibly secret about any wedding doings that may go on in their village. Many of the people that they would invite, know nothing until very close to the big day. So one way they hunt down nuptial happenings, is to look for celery in the gardens of the possibly betrothed. Apparently, hot creamed celery is a big traditional wedding dish. More celery planted, means somebody is soon to be gettin busaaaay.

6. NEW ENGLAND – 18th century cell phones were a bit different. Back in the day, there was NO privacy for courting couples. So they came up with the idea for a “courting stick.” No, it’s not as dirty as it sounds. It was a 6 foot hollow tube that the couple could use to talk through in whispers while keeping a safe distance under the scowling eyes of an overprotective father. And I thought 2 cans and a long string was sexy….

dating rituals

7. GYPSIES – Though they may deny it, a British documentary series has shown the Gypsy courtship ritual known as “grabbing.” This is when men who like the young gypsy girls show their attraction by physically grabbing the girls and trying to get them away from their friends for some smoochin’ and such. In some cases they even get a little violent. Ah L’amour, grabby and stabby.

8. BHUTAN – Nothing says love like Breaking and Entering. In Bhutan, “Night Hunting,” formerly known as “bomena,” involves the cultural practice of sneaking in to a girl’s room and spending the night. Or what I called High School. If the boy was caught, he would have to marry her, or work the infraction off by working in the family’s fields. This practice is still happening today. Fortunately, they now have access to steel locks, and audio recordings of crying babies to deter any would be lothario.

9. OLD EUROPE – In some old anecdotal accounts of courtship, European men (and in other parts of the world too) would wear handkerchiefs under their armpits before heading off to a dancy soiree. Once they had churned up a man-sized sweat, they were ready to go a courting. If he was interested in a lady, he would wipe the perspiration off of his intended’s face with the very same handkerchief he had stashed in his pit crack.

She would get a whiff and instantly fall in love… Or off the balcony to her death.

10. CAMBODIA – Love Shack, baby, Love Shack! The Kreung tribe in remote parts of Cambodia build a love shack for their daughters when they reach their mid-teens. Several boys spend a night with them. In America, we call that the Sorority House. If she isn’t too worn out, when she finds one she wants to marry, the party is over. There is no divorce with the Kreung, so she has to know all about the goods beforehand.

11. BALI – After reaching puberty, Hindu Balinese youngins must undergo a ritual tooth filing before they can get married. This elaborate ceremony is overseen by a Brahman priest. Their upper canines are filed down to the level of their incisors. This supposedly rids them of evil tendencies. And their ability to eat ice cream.

12. DYNGUS DAY – Just after Easter, the post-lent festival called Dyngus Day, dates back to pre-Christian times. Celebrated predominantly in Polish communities worldwide, it comprises boys and girls dousing their intended mates with water or perfume and gently whipping them with Pussy Willows (fitting). It still happens today, but the dousing is more likely done with wine coolers, and cheap ass beer.

13. AUSTRIA – What is it with armpit sweat?!? In rural Austria it used to be that stank was the way to a man’s heart. Women would take slices of apples, place them in their armpits, then become an ABBA style dancing queen. Once she had worked up enough sexy, sexy sweat, she would offer that stank apple to her man. He would then, (wretch), eat it. I pray they still do not do this today. Really, really I do.

14. IRAN – Dating is completely illegal in Iran. There. Take that, happiness and love!

Spike Spencer

www.DontKillYourDate.com

Spike Spencer
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