We’ve all been there. You’re having a drink at a bar when suddenly there’s an incessant nudge from some ogre who says something along the lines of, ‘Hey, good looking. Do you prefer your eggs scrambled or fertilized in the morning?’ Add the image of him licking his lips and winking and it’s enough to dry heave. Thankfully, we have supplied you with an arsenal of 20 best responses to cheesy chat up lines to fend off your next beast.

 20 Best Responses to Cheesy Chat Up Lines:

  1. ‘Did it hurt when you fell from heaven?’

             ‘No, but does it hurt being rejected?’

  1. ‘Do you want to go out and do what I’m going to tell my friends, anyway?’

             ‘Why? So I can tell my friends how small your penis REALLY is?’

  1. ‘Is it just me or does this rag smell like chloroform?’

             ‘I’m going to call the police now…’

            (This was listed somewhere as a GUARANTEED chat up line. Creepy, much?)

  1. ‘Do you believe in love at first sight or should I walk by again?’

            ‘Why don’t you keep walking out of this bar?’

  1. ‘Do you believe in helping the homeless? If you do, take me home with you.’

             ‘I’d rather be at the soup kitchen than near you.’

  1. ‘I’m a frog now, but if you kiss me I’ll turn into a prince.’

            ‘That’s funny. You look like more of a toad.’

  1. ‘If I told you that you have a nice body, would you hold it against me?’

            ‘Did you actually think that’d work?’

  1. ‘If I could rearrange the alphabet, I’d put U and I together.’

             ‘If I could rearrange the alphabet, I’d put F and U together.’

  1. ‘Are you a parking ticket? Because you’ve got fine written all over you.’

            ‘Did someone hit you on the head when you thought that would work?’

      10. ‘You can call me Nemo because I’m never afraid to touch the butt.’

            ‘Thank you for ruining my favorite Disney movie.’

responses to chat up lines

      11. ‘I Googled you earlier. I clicked on “I’m Feeling Lucky.”’

            ‘What showed up? A picture of you all alone?’

     12. ‘Your ass is so nice it’s a shame you have to sit on it.’

            ‘Too bad yours isn’t.’

    13. ‘I’m an astronaut and my next mission is to explore Uranus.’

          ‘You’ll find it’s cold and inhospitable.’

    14. ‘You’re so sweet you could put Hershey’s out of business.’

          ‘That line is so cheesy you could put Kraft out of business.’

    15. ‘I would offer you a cigarette, but you’re already smoking hot.’

          ‘You want to give me cancer?!’

    16. ‘Do you have a map? I keep getting lost in your eyes.’

           Following an enormous eye roll: ‘No, but I can point you to the exit.’

    17. ‘Are you religious? Because you are the answer to my prayers.’

          ‘No, and you’re offending my atheistic values.’

    18. ‘Well I’m here, what are your next two wishes?’

          ‘That you’d go away and never talk to me again.’

    19. ‘Are you an alien? Because you just abducted my heart.’

          ‘Are you calling me ugly?’

   20. ‘Do you have a Band-Aid? I scraped my knee falling for you.’

          ‘I don’t date clumsy people.’

Now, while some of these are gross, there are a few humorous ones that may make you smile. Always determine the “ick-factor” before using ones of these responses to cheesy chat up lines based on some simple equations.

Cheesy + cute = must buy you a drink to make up for the terrible line.

Cheesy + not so cute = go away.

Gross + is human = slap in the face.

Rachel Nielsen
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