So you’ve been on that all important first date. Everything was great – the chemistry buzzing, the conversation flowing, and you definitely felt there was potential! Yet a few days go past and he hasn’t texted or called, and you’re wondering why you didn’t get that second date. Let’s shed some light on why this might be.

11 Reasons You Didn’t Get That Second Date:

1) Supply and Demand

He’s approaching dating as a numbers game. In which case it’s all about quantity over quality. You could well be one of many dates that didn’t make the second date cut!

2) You Talked about your Ex

If you feel a connection with someone instantly, it’s easy to open up the ex-files. Whilst you might think this indicates you can be open and upfront, it can backfire as it might make you seem on the rebound and not truly present in your date’s company.

3) You Talked about Yourself Constantly

Although you might want to express your personality, hopes and dreams, from your date’s perspective, it can appear like you’re self-consumed and not really interested in what they have to say.

4) You Had a Negative Attitude

No one wants to take a Debbie Downer on a second date! Save the serious stuff for when you’re actually in a relationship. Dating (especially first dates) is about keeping it light, flirty and fun!

5) You Told Him You Want Marriage and Kids Within the Next 3 Years

Whilst it’s great to be open with one another about your long-term aspirations, on a first date this can make it seem like your only agenda for dating is for the end result of marriage and children – as opposed to meeting someone to have a great time with and build a fantastic relationship with.

11 reasons you didn't get that second date

6) “He’s Just Not That Into You”

On the upside of this, it makes you one step closer to the right person.

7) You Text 10 Seconds After Leaving the Date

While it’s not about playing text games there is something to be said by taking a relaxed approach to texting after a first date. If he’s keen, he’ll text to check you got home safe and say that he had a great time. A simple but enthusiastic response will suffice – don’t bombard.

8) You Drank Too Much

If you go overboard on the booze on a first date, you won’t be yourself. You might say or do things that aren’t reflective of your true personality and you may come across as a liability!

9) You Tried Too Hard

When the nerves take over and we really want to impress, it can be very easy to fall into the trap of going over the top – such as laughing a little too enthusiastically at their jokes, letting them dominate the conversation and agreeing with everything they say. It can appear like you’re too eager to please.

10) Your Confidence Intimidated Him

Sometimes, successful and confident women can intimidate men. If this is the case, you weren’t a good match, anyway!

11) He Met Someone Else

It’s possible that he met someone else that he felt more compatible with. As it was only a first date, he probably doesn’t feel it’s necessary to give you a reason.

The key really is to just be yourself and listen as much as you talk. If you know you were your true, authentic self on the first date and you didn’t get a second, it just wasn’t right for you! So learn from the experience and move forward.

Have you ever experienced any of these (or other) reasons and not got that second date? I’d love to hear your stories in the comments below!

Laura Yates
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