Break-ups are tough and heart-breaking. Sometimes we let ourselves go, cry our eyes out for weeks, and lock ourselves in a room for days. For those of you that desperately try to get over your ex and move on with your life as if nothing ever happened, know that it’s easier said than done. As much as you want to get over your ex in zero time, know that it takes time, effort and tears. Just in case you are still wondering whether you are over your ex or whether your mind (and heart) is playing tricks on you, trying to make you believe you are over him, here are some signs you aren’t.
10 Signs You Aren’t Over Your Ex:
1. He’s the first thing you think about when you wake up and the last before you fall asleep
Sure you can tell everyone how over him you are, but you can’t tell your mind not to think about him. If as soon as you wake up, he’s in your thoughts, then you know that subconsciously you still love him and there’s nothing you can do about that. If he’s still on your mind those few minutes before you fall asleep, when you are lying in the bed all alone and let your mind wander to things that you wouldn’t let occupy your mind all day then you definitely should know, you are still not over your ex!
2. You stalk him on Facebook
… or any other social network he has a profile on. Even if the relationship is over and you think are over him, there might be those few times when you think it’s okay to check out his Facebook profile to see what he’s been up to. Curious if he’s having a good time without you or if he’s posting love songs for you or if he’s found a new girl! Whether the reason you are stalking him is any of the above, or not, definitely know that stalking him on Facebook is a sign that you are not over your ex. It’s something you do to still know what’s going on in his life, when you are not supposed to.
Facebook stalking your ex is kind of catty!
3. You constantly seek to bring him up in conversation
Whatever the topic of conversation is with your friends, I know how easy it is to bring back memories from your time with him. It is therefore unavoidable to get an urge to bring him up in conversation. Whether you bring him up in conversation or not though, doesn’t change the fact that if you want to talk about him, you are not over your ex!
You could have had the best sex of your life with your new guy. I’m talking four orgasms in less than an hour. But lying there, with your new man fast asleep next to you, you can’t help comparing him to your ex and let’s be honest here, you find your ex better every time. Even if the sex wasn’t as good. If this is you then this is definitely a sign you aren’t over your ex!
4. You talk to your girlfriends about him until their ears bleed
Of course not literally. But even when you tell them how over him you are, or that you are the best thing that ever happened to him and he’s made the biggest mistake of his life dumping you, you should know that he’s taking over your mind. You might think you are fooling your girlfriends into thinking you are over him, but they and you all know perfectly well that you are not!!
5. Who do all the songs talk about?
You know that song that brings tears to your eyes? Was that his favorite song? What about that song that makes you stop what you are doing and start dreaming with your eyes open? Was that the song that played during your first kiss? The list could go on forever, but when all the love songs seem to talk about your ex, and every lyric seems to be written about you, then you are not over your ex.
6. He’s everywhere
Seriously, he’s everywhere you look or maybe he’s not. Do you bump into strangers on the street and look up only to find your ex staring straight into your eyes? But two seconds later, do you discover that it’s not him? Maybe you even go to bars with friends and you think you see him sitting at the next table. He’s everywhere you look and yet he’s nowhere to be found. He’s taking over your mind so much that you think you see him all the time. If this is happening to you, you’re not over your ex.
7. You ask yourself, “Why the hell did we even break up?”
Everything was going so well. He was sweet, attentive; he cared about me. Yes, but he was also a control freak, or he cheated on you or he treated you as a possession and not as an equal. It’s natural to remember only the good things in a relationship. After all, that’s the whole point. You have great memories with him, and that’s undeniable. He loved you and cared about you, yes, but there were reasons that led to the breakup. And even though you should cherish those good memories that you have with him, you should never forget that there were important reasons that led to your breakup and if it felt like the right decision to make, then it was.
8. You still hold on to the relationship mementos
I’m not talking about that expensive necklace he gave you for your birthday, you should definitely keep that. I’m talking about the little insignificant things, like that record that he forgot at your place, but you hate listening to. Or that old t-shirt of his that you never wear, but somehow ended up in your drawer and you can’t bring yourself to throw it away. You will know that you are over your ex when you are ready to throw away those little insignificant leftovers from your past relationship.
9. You are still having post-break up sex
You are rebounding with someone whose name you don’t even remember. You know he means nothing to you and will continue to be like that. But you still sleep with him in vain hope that he will make you forget your ex even though you might not admit it to yourself. When you are over your ex, you won’t need someone like that. You’ll have sex because you want to and not because it helps you forget.
10. You just know!
As much as the signs I have outlined will help you realize whether you are or you aren’t over your ex so will what I wrote about how to get over a break-up. You don’t really need anyone to tell you that you are not over your ex, you already know the answer. Even if you don’t have any of the aforementioned symptoms, you know whether the flame burns for the man who broke your heart! And if you are still not quite sure the best way to know is when you think about him, does your heart or your brain take charge?
How do you know when you aren’t over your ex? Would you add any signs to the list? Comment and let me know.
- 10 Signs You Aren’t Over Your Ex - June 9, 2020