We all know who the quintessential serial dater is, right? It’s the man or woman who spends years in short term “relationships” and either can’t or won’t make a long term commitment because they just want to date and date and date.

Well, maybe not. By part of that definition I’m pretty close to being a serial dater myself. With the notable exception of two or three years-long relationships, I’ve never gotten past the “few months” stage.  This however doesn’t mean that I don’t ever want to be in a real, committed relationship. In my case it means that I spent years concentrating on raising my son, met more than my fair share of men who WERE serial daters, and will not go into a relationship just because I need to be in one.

So, it’s a tricky question you see. You have to scratch beneath the surface to understand whether or not one is a serial dater. Sure, I find the occasional online dating profile that states things like: “Just looking for some fun”, or the more obvious “not looking for another marriage”. But those are rare. Trust me on this, I read a LOT of online profiles.

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Serial daters might not be as hard to spot as you think…

Warning Signs of A Serial Dater

Can You Spot A Serial Dater? Mainly I’ve found that, to weed out the commitment-phobes, you have to look and listen carefully. Here’s a list of warning signs to watch out for:

  1. Suggestive screen names: You’ve seen them Hot4U, Studlyman, and more. These tell you right off the bat that this is going to be a physical-and-fast deal.
  2. They could charm the stripes off a tiger. Which is exactly what they’re trying to do to you. If you’re kept off balance with their wit and style you are far more likely to miss the cues telling you you’re just another notch on the bedpost.
  3. They are fast. The Serial Dater wants dinner – sex – and the door so he or she can be quickly off to the next conquest. A strong clue is the date who’s cooing sweetly in your ear before you’ve gotten even halfway through the first date.
  4. They just stop calling. This is usually after a handful of dates filled with roses, candlelight and serious romantic moves, leaving you feeling “what did I do wrong?”. The answer is – nothing – your serial dating friend is just off to the next challenge.
  5. They are the masters of shallow conversation. A serial dater either can’t or won’t talk about anything more meaningful than their work or the hot new restaurants or clubs in town. They are simply not interested in getting to know you at all. Nor do they care if you get to know them on a personal level.

While finding one or two of these traits in a date doesn’t necessarily guarantee that they are serial daters, they are things to watch out for and be cautious of. Even if you aren’t seeking a life partner, it’s always wise to steer clear of these charming cads. They’ll always leave you feeling alone and lonely, and you deserve so much more than that.

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