Have you ever wanted to be tied up or blindfolded? Well, you’re not alone and there is nothing wrong with that fantasy. Nancy Friday, of The Secret Garden conducted a survey of women to narrow down the top 5 kinky sexual fantasies.
- Submission fantasies—giving in to a dominant man
- Domination fantasies—dominating a submissive man
- Group Sex fantasies—can be a combination of varying stimuli
- Exhibitionist and voyeuristic fantasies–watching or being watched
- Single partner fantasies—this can be anything from sub/dom to role play.
Ladies, How Kinky are you?
At some point we have all found ourselves involved in a fantasy or perhaps even envisioned one. Ever want to pull that hot stock boy into the back room and have your way with him? Well, so have about a million other women. Just because “society” says straight-laced, monogamous sex is the only option; does not make them right or you twisted. Sex in and of itself is a healthy expression of your desires for yourself as well as for your sexual partner. So what if you like to be a bit submissive or he likes to be tied up as foreplay. A woman admitting pleasure from sexual submission or perhaps even BDSM, might find herself wondering whether or not this curiosity is acceptable. Society, feminism, her own thoughts, could potentially have her questioning something that is very natural. So long as it is consensual, any woman should be able to get her rocks off any way she chooses. Ladies, if you like it kinky, who cares what society says.
The 50 Shades of Grey Effect
50 Shades of Grey became popular for a reason. Fabio just wasn’t cutting it anymore in the world of erotic romance and thus, Christian Grey has taken his place. A study was conducted to delve a little deeper into what men and women really think about kink last October. “We wondered if some couples began a dialogue because they realized that a part of their sexual psyche was unfulfilled. So we asked, ‘Did reading the book make you more interested in kinkier sex?’ The answer was dramatically in favor of an edgier sex life! Sixty-seven percent of women and 59 percent of men said yes, bring on the kinkier sex!” ~ Dr. Pepper Schwartz Professor of Sociology, University of Washington.
Opening up this dialogue within relationships, is a good thing if you ask me. Dr. Schwartz’s study also showed what a large number of men and women would like if they had the guts to suggest a little kink to their partner. People were admitting to an active inner life that had a wider range of fantasy that they kept to themselves. Thoughts about what they might like to do with their partner, and what they might like to do with friends, and, even strangers. The study went on to validate that people were absolutely craving variety and different types of sexual stimulation.
Wanna Give it a Try? How do I ask?
Let’s start with eliminating the fear that your kinky fantasy isn’t “normal”. Unless it involves kidnapping another human being and chaining them up in a closet, let’s just say you’re safe. Sharing a fantasy involves a certain level of trust and intimacy and can actually increase both within a relationship. When asking your partner to help fulfill a fantasy, be sure they know that you desire this as something special you want to share with them. This is not meant to be a way to objectify your partner. You want them to be just as turned on as you are. If you need to help them understand it a little better, be prepared to show them what you like. A video, an article, a kinky picture from the internet – tell them how this image gets you off imagining the two of you doing the same thing. It also helps to ease your partner into the idea by not coming at them with a very elaborate or obscure fantasy right from the start. Baby steps, as they say. It could be something as simple as picking up a few ties or a set of handcuffs for some light bondage. Save something like a role play scene or a gag ball for a later conversation.
Sharing a fetish or fantasy should always be a positive experience. Studies have shown that couples who regularly engage in this type of play have a highly pleasurable relationship. More than anything, this has to be mutual; so make sure your partner understands what you’re asking for, and they want to reciprocate. Once that is established… let the games begin!
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