What if you really like this guy, but you aren’t sure if he wants a committed relationship? Should you settle for less commitment?

It depends upon what you wanted in the first place and what commitment means to you.

Is less commitment enough for you?

Are you looking for a monogamous, exclusive dating arrangement with a “this works for now” attitude or are you looking for a committed relationship that has potential for a long-term future? Does he want either of those or something even more casual?

If you want a relationship and he wants a fling then why would you choose a man who doesn’t want the same type of relationship that you want? You will waste a lot of time, energy and tears of frustration waiting on him to see how fantastic you are, change his casual dating ways, and want a real relationship with you.

Let it be simple

dating commitment

Why put yourself through that? Pick a man who wants a real relationship and you are already on your way to having one. Now the question is whether you and he are a match instead of wondering if you both are looking for a relationship. This is just the beginning of choosing who gets a chance.

 

Settling is a Dating Danger Zone

If you insist on dating a man who doesn’t want a relationship, and you do, that’s your issue. On some level you are using this guy’s choice of wanting you or not as a measurement of your own worth. It’s as if you are thinking if HE picks you and HE wants you it means that you are somehow more worthy than if HE didn’t.

Got news for you—you are a fantastic woman regardless of this man-with-a-wandering-eye’s opinion. If he doesn’t want a relationship, then believe him and move on to a man who does. If you want a fling, then he’s fling material. Don’t try to talk yourself into being comfortable being one of his many potentially simultaneous flings when it isn’t what you want. The only person you are hurting is you since he already told you what he wants and you chose to ignore it.

Dating is a constant adventure regardless of whether you are looking for a fling, a real relationship or even if you haven’t decided yet. If you settle for less commitment than what you really want in the hope that something will change it could mean you wake up a few years later in the exact same situation. Still dating the same guy and still hoping he’ll want the life that you want. Is that really living?

Debra Kunz
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