Let’s start with a question. Why do women play hard to get?Play Hard To Get

It seems to be drilled into our dating psyche that being available is the wrong thing to do and women should always play hard to get to attract their man.

Is This The Right Approach?

You have a first date; it goes well; you go for it and propose date two.  Then it happens… “I’m quite busy this week, how about next?” or “I’d love to see you again but I’m not sure when I’m free”.

What Guys Think When You Play Hard to Get:

  1. She says she wants to meet again, but isn’t available, so maybe she’s just saying that rather than admitting she doesn’t see it going any further?  Dangers of pursuing further here are that you end up chasing the ball of string that doesn’t want to be caught.
  2. She may be genuinely busy, away on holiday, work commitments or maybe just re-arranging her wardrobe?  So you suck it up even though not ideal and agree on a date a few weeks in advance.  But you question how busy do you have to be to not find time for a drink?
  3. She’s a serial dater and two weeks’ time is her next free slot on the calendar?  Not a good sign to be Mr. Two Weeks On Friday?
  4. She wants you to chase a little. The game is on. She will eventually relent and offer you some time.

Building attraction by pretending to be aloof, uninterested or ridiculously busy is a dangerous tactic.  It builds attraction solely around the chase rather than around you as a woman with values attractive to a guy.

What happens when the cat catches the ball of string?  If that’s all he’s attracted to – the chase – he quickly becomes bored and moves onto the next challenge.  The hard-to-get tactic can be massively misunderstood and for fear of being labelled a stalker, he takes the hint and moves on.

What’s More Attractive To Men?

A woman that has high standards and isn’t afraid of communicating that.  She doesn’t create a fake challenge as she knows she has the values men look for and the guy has to raise his game to keep the momentum going.

You don’t have to be unavailable to be attractive.  We all live busy lives and someone who doesn’t give you the runaround is a breath of fresh air.  Showing that you have standards and that you only give time to guys that respect you and invest time and energy in you is golden.

A guy wants to feel he’s got a girl that no other guy can get, not one he feels he has to chase and may never catch.

James S.
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